Bluegrass Jam

No, that's not something you spread on bread. It's an event at New Song Church in Reynoldsburg. On the second and fourth Fridays from 7-10, they hold a Bluegrass/gospel jam session. They welcome acoustic stringed instruments and the harmonica. I've gotta say, I've never seen so many banjo pickers in one room. There is a section for the audience, a section for the musicians, and the stage in the center. They rotate through the musician section and everyone gets a turn at the mic.

I took my autoharp out for a test drive on Friday, and while I didn't get up on stage, I did play along. But, I've been informed that you only get one time on the bench. Next time I have to get up and play with the rest. I'll be ready.

It's kind of weird going to an activity at a different church. It was fortunate to run across some people that I know. There is a family who was there that I know from baseball; one of the kids was on a team with one of my sons. Another older sibling worked with the other son. Turns out the kids have a bluegrass band including guitar, banjo, mandolin, and fiddle. Really, everyone there was friendly, and I had a good time. I'm planning on going next time, and I'll be ready to play.

Something like this might be fun at Logos--without the bluegrass. But I don't feel comfortable trying to start a group right now. Maybe down the road. Right now at Logos, I find myself doing a whole lot of sitting on the outside and looking in. Not necessarily because I want to, but because that's apparently where I need to be right now. It's kind of nice going to a new place where I'm not tempted to do anything more than show up. I know that sounds weird. But the things at Logos that I really feel a burden to be involved with, I've not been able to do. By hanging out somewhere as a guest, I'm not part of the community, and I have no responsibility to be involved at a deeper level. It goes against what I've been taught about using my spiritual gifts, but seems to be where I am supposed to be right now.

In the meantime, I'm learning some bluegrass / gospel tunes and getting ready for next time.

Music to Keep the boredom away.

One of the things about the boredom of my job is that I can listen to music. My autoharping led me to CD Baby, where I purchased my Brobdingnagian Bards CDs. CD Baby lets you listen to clips from CDs, and there are pages by theme, style, etc. So, I'll find something interesting and listen while I work. Some of it has been just a little weird, but here are some of my favorites--with or without the autoharp.

Graphic Recliner
ECOSSE: The Auld Alliance
Gene Moore: I Give Up

Sound-bites

When I first got online _________ years ago, I discovered email lists. What's more, I discovered the fun to be had debating a topic on a list, for me usually on the topic of education/homeschooling. Well, I haven't done it for several years, but I got to jump into the fray this week on, of all things, a puppetry email list.

Someone posted an article about PBS funds possibly being cut, and the conversation turned to all things education. I just couldn't sit back and allow the idea float in cyberspace that education is the responsibility of the government, could I?

What I discovered was that over time the art of discussion as turned into the art of creating a sound bite. According to Wikipedia,

It is characterized by a short phrase or sentence that deftly captures the essence of what the speaker is trying to say. Such key moments in dialogue (or monologue) stand out better in the audience's memory and thus become the "taste" that best represents the entire "meal" of the larger message or conversation. Sound bites are a natural consequence of people placing ever greater emphasis on summarizing ever-increasing amounts of information in their lives.

Every post has to wrap up the conversation in as few words as possible, the more cleverly stated the better. What's more every post has to end with some Fox News-ish, CNN-like barb about someone's character rather than actually discussing the topic itself. Instead of having a gourmet meal, we're having nuggets through the drive through--extra sauce, please.

I don't know that there is a point to this post other than to "point" out the phenomenon. I think maybe we could all lay off the news shows a little and try reading a book. A big one. One with lots of words. Pithy, yeah, a pithy book. Read one and get back to me.

Musings of the Harper

Sometimes the Internet is a wonderful thing. If you need a little information about something, you just Google or Ask and there it is--more information than you ever thought you'd want to have. Today I'm sharing with you my latest discovery:

Autoharp Radio

Now, you might wonder what I was looking for that I discovered Autoharp Radio. In fact, I was looking for strings for my autoharp. Yes, indeed. I own an autoharp. It's an older 12-bar Oscar Schmidt, but it's in pretty good condition (although it could use some new felt along with the new strings.)

But I digress. As I was looking for strings, I ran across Autoharp Radio, which is broadcast online on Live 365. After listening to it for a few days at work, I discovered a couple of things: 1) my playing drastically improved as I heard accomplished harpers play; 2) there are some really weird songs out there that should be shared.

I've heard songs from A Mighty Wind, quite a bit of bluegrass, folk, and gospel, some really interesting jazz, and even a rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody". Oh, yeah!

So far, my favorite of the weird is the Brobdingnagian Bards
These guys are a Celtic Renaissance duo out of Austin, TX. Their songs are played on the autoharp, mandolin, and recorder. They play some classics and some of their own works. One of my favorites so far is "Do Virgins Taste Better?" Just think about that in the context of a song about dragons. You'll understand. But they've done parodies from Star Wars and School House Rock. Their Lord of the Rings CD was so popular that they were the headliners at the LOR Oscar party.

Things get a little weirder when you check out Marc Gunn's site. Marc is the autoharpist in of the group, and he seems to have a fetish for felines and drinking songs. But he's a good harpist, and he's the reason that Autoharp Radio exists.

So, sit back at your 'puter and take listen to the dulcet strains of the autoharp. You'll be wanting to own one too.

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

So, I had a puppet show today at Heritage Park in Groveport. They were having their first Nature Fair and I did a 20 minute show with the help of my "stage hand", Ethan. We've got the stage all set up, the audience sits down, the excitement continues to build. I come around the corner for my curtain speech and to start off things with a tongue twister, a song, and some antics with the "stage hand." Before I get a word out, a little girl in the front row blurts out:

"You look weird."

Those who know me, know that I'm not often at a loss for words, but honestly, the first thing that came to mind was, "Is my hair sticking up or something?"

I had nothing. No pithy comeback. Nothing other than, "This from a girl with a snake painted on her face." So, I laughed it off and moved on with the show.

I told a lady at BestBuy about the girl's comment and her response was, "That's exactly the look I was going for--Jerk!" Okay, I like it without the jerk. What about you? What would you have said to the little girl? You know, in case that ever happens again.

My wacky Great Grandfather

You may have discovered the new link in the Link section called "Meet my wacky Great Grandfather". If you've known me for any length of time, you know that I like to dabble in genealogy. Over the years I've discovered connections to English royalty (like most of the cast of Shakespeare's histories), Robert Jemison Van de Graff, the creator of the Van de Graff generator (that thing at COSI that makes your hair stand up), and that whole bunch of Boisfeuillet's who left a castle to my uncle (he didn't take it). Well, now I've started a blog (with the help of my cousin Peggy) to record what we've learned about Dr. James Charles Oakshette.

Dr. O is one of those people who don't really seem real. The legends are amazing. We grew up hearing that his second wife was related to Nathan Hale; that he was a missionary to the Dakotas; that he was Oxford-educated and continued his education until his death. Well some of this is just family legend. Mary Hale isn't related to Nathan Hale. Oxford has no record of his attending school there. But he was a missionary. He did start the Baha'i congregation in Atlanta. He was a homeopathic physician and later studied law to save his medical practice.

So, check in on Dr. O's blog from time to time to see what other fun Dr. O has gotten himself into. You might discover more about me and my family than you'd ever want to know.

The New and Improved Bar

It's spring and time for a little house cleaning. I put a new coat of paint on the blog, a new template that reflects my "sandbar"ness, so to speak. Expect to see some of the more morose, SAD-afflicted posts deleted. I'm considering starting another blog for my puppetry/theatre/sewing interests and leaving this one for rambling. But, I like "Crossing the Bar", so maybe I'll just pull up an adirondack chair and push my toes down in the sand for a spell.

I'm hoping to get some pictures from "The Lion in Winter". The you can see how well the costuming turned out. Meanwhile, here's a little something from the puppetry files. This is me with Feathers LaBoa and the Goose of Christmas Past.

So, pardon me now while I pour a glass of Aunt Pearl's Sweet Tea and relax.

One week later. . .

I'm trying to find the balance between staying involved and running for cover. A big part of me wants to just let everything drop while I sink into the slough of despond. The logical part, however, knows that I have to keep on keeping on. I do need to reassess some of my involvement in some areas. I was gone every night last week, except for Friday when I couldn't make the retreat meeting because I needed to take the dog to the vet. I'm just overly busy right now and it's my fault.

I did spend some much needed time writing the press release for the National Day of Puppetry and a script for "The Three Billy Goats Gruff". I've been wanting to create a puppet show that I can do solo. TBGG is the first attempt.

I'm also costuming and set dressing "The Lion in Winter" for Bread and Circus. I get to play with medieval costuming and that's always fun. I will have to build some things from scratch.

So, after writing this three times and having it crash twice when I put in the html code for the links, I'm hoping to press publish and go to bed.

SDG

How Old Are You?

With all my aches and pains and having it hard to stay up late, I've been worried about starting to act my age. Of course I'm hanging out with people my age, but I don't want to act my age. So, I just took this test and here are the results. Let me know how old you are.

You Are 22 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Full of the Word

Music in church is such a complex thing. Who could have thought that singing praises to the Lord could be so full of controversy? More hymns! More praise and worship! More music! More teaching! Where's the balance?

For me, I find it in Colossians 3:16. Read it in several translations you'll discover that we're probably breaking the sentence up incorrectly. The KJV and the NASB both take the position that we're to teach and admonish in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. For a teaching church, it's the logical translation.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord (KJV).

But, when we teach and admonish, we use more than psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Is this exactly what Paul meant? Compare this passage, however, with the NIV translation:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms,hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

The parallel that Paul has created is evident in this version. There are clearly two ways the word dwelling in you manifests: through wisdom in teaching and admonishing and in singing thanks to God.

Putting this translation into practice, we find that the worship or music portion of the service is just as important as the teaching portion of the service. They are both the result of letting the word of God richly dwell within us. In a church where the music portion of the service is meant solely to prepare hearts for worship through the study of the word, it's challenging to think that thanking God through song is equally important.

SDG

The residue of darkness: The old man belief system

Pascal wrote that there is a God-shaped hole in each of us--a vacuum waiting to be filled by God. But we find so many other things to fill it. When man was created he had a direct link to God, but the fall broke that link and left us utterly alone, feeling worthless, and separated from Father. Man is built to fellowship, to commune, but sin has left that God-shaped hole.

We try to fill the hole with other people, with things, with money, with activities, with power, but it doesn't work. We always seem to need a little more than we have. If we could have just a little more we'd be satisfied. But, that's the lie. We'll never be satisfied apart from God.

Relationships fail because we have unfair expectations about each other. We expect the other person to fill the void, but they expect the same from us. It is when we stop expecting other people to be our savior and turn to the one Savior that we can actually find fulfillment and worth.

The residue of darkness, however, is that old man belief system. It's the old pattern of expecting people, postion, and things to fill the void. In fact, it takes a daily, sometimes constant, habit of telling the old man to stop trying and allow God to fill the gap.

It's an odd habit to get into. When something strikes a chord that produces and emotion, whether it is anger, fear, sadness, loneliness, examine the emotion. Pinpoint its source, and determine if the old man is taking control.

Recently, I was forced by an emotional outburst to examine whether I was finding my worth in my ministry or in my God. Perhaps there is a hint of pride connected to the ministry, but I eventually concluded that I could give up the ministry without feeling a loss of my worth. I passed that test.

That has not always been the case. There have been times when what I do is who I am. That is the American way, is it not? If we are talking with a new acquaintance isn't one of the first questions asked, "What do you do?" In our culture it establishes who you are and what you are worth. Let's say that one works at McDonald's. The average person will look down on the employment as a substandard job. But maybe that person is using the job as a opportunity to save money to go on mission trips. They work at McDonald's because they can leave their job and return without effecting their position. What then is the more important answer to "What do you do?" Do you work at McDonald's, or are you a missionary?

Where to do you find your worth? If you're looking in the darkness trying to find someone or something to make you feel important, then you're looking in the wrong place. Look to the light. Only God can fill that God-shaped hole.

SDG

Why "Crossing the Bar"?

While you're waiting for the next installment on the Old Sin Nature, let me share the reason for the the name crossing-the-bar.

For several years I used the last line or even the last stanza of Tennyson's Crossing the Bar as my sig line in my email. Not only is the poem by my favorite poet, but it also goes along with my email handle, sandbar, which is made up from the the first few letters of my first and last names. Also, Crossing the Bar and sandbar seem to be a perfect fit for this "kid" who spent her summers on a boat. Mentally, I envision the harbor where we docked our boat, the Wogekasan, when I read the poem.

Tennyson lived in a precarious time. Darwin, Lyell, and Huxley, among others, were challenging the existence of God. Science shifted from understanding God and His creation to proving God had nothing to do with creation. Tennyson's struggle between his belief in God and this new emerging science is evident in his work. When one reads Crossing the Bar one can't help but recognize the dichotomy.

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again to home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For though from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crossed the bar.

SDG

Taking off the Old Man

One of the best parts about the adult camp at SEYC is that we continually learn about taking off the old man and putting on the new. I used to think that it was a one-time thing. Once I was saved, I took off my old sinful way of life and put on the new saved way of life. But, two years of sitting under Pastor Al's teaching has really helped me to see that we're taking off the old man our whole lives.

So, what is the old man? It's the old sin nature. It's the thing that makes us behave the way that we do. We can decide to behave differently all we want, but until we face the reasons for that behavior, we'll just keep doing the same things over and over and over again. Paul wrote: "For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me" (Rom 7:19, 20). Pastor Al has been teaching us how to win the battle between the law of our minds and the law of our flesh.

Again, I ask, what is the old man? It is the voice in our heads that tell us that we're no good, that we're not capable, that we're worthless, fat, ugly. They sometimes sound like the person who once told us that lie. But usually, we've spent so much time repeating the lie to ourselves, we only hear the lie, and after we've told ourselves long enough, we just know.

When I finally broke through to understanding the concept, I had been asked to lead worship at the SEYC adult camp--by myself. Although I had played on the worship team at Logos for nearly 20 years, I wasn't sure that I could do it on my own. But, I told Denise I would, put together some songs, packed up my keyboard, and went to camp. I not only discovered that I could lead worship, but I also recognized the "voices" that told me I couldn't.

The voice was my Aunt Janet, who had told me in high school that I didn't play piano well enough to accompany someone for a concert audition. I'm sure that she meant well, but I took it to heart. I wasn't good enough. Later, the voice was reinforced by the members of the worship team. They never intentionally said or did anything to make me think that I wasn't capable, but everytime I was left out of a special or a special service, every time I wasn't included reinforced the lie.

After I understood that the old man had been sabotaging my ability to lead worship, my confidence grew and I found it easy to take him off and fill the position on the team that I was called to fill. I even spent a year as the leader of the Wednesday night team--which was one of the most spiritually satisfying periods of my Christian walk.

This isn't to say that the old man is gone. Oh, no! He lurks beneath the surface, just waiting to sideline me with some other lie. For the last several months I've been dealing with a couple of lies, mostly tied with some kind of teary emotion. But, I'm learning to look at those emotional outbursts to see if I can figure out the reason. Is there a voice that's been telling me a lie in that area? Or is the emotion tied it to something else that hasn't been dealt with? More about that later this week.

Final Dress

Today was final dress rehearsal for the Farndale show. This is the most relaxed I've ever been the night before a show. Rehearsal ended a little after nine. We cleaned up, and Isaac and I went to TGI Fridays afterwards. It's amazing!

One the way to rehearsal tonight, I saw the most awesome sunset. All the clouds along the horizon converged to block the sun. The golden-red rays pierced the clouds and as I witnessed the artwork, I praised the Artist. I felt as if this was a private show, just for me. The sun may have set, but the glow continues yet.

SDG

Insanity Run Amuck

Tech week of my show that goes up on Friday--The Farndale Avenue Housing Estate Townswoman's Guild Dramatic Society Murder Mystery. I'm pleased to say that it looks pretty good. (I tell my cast that it doesn't look bad--keep 'em striving for improvement). However, at the same time I had to alter 6 dresses for a wedding and do massive mailings at my day job. I'm working on publicity for the Columbus Puppetry Guild's National Day of Puppetry, and thinking in the background what I could perform if we don't get all the slots filled. I'm also looking at scripts for the next play. My home's a wreck, my family misses me (I think--at least they're missing dinner) and. . .

Insanity has crept into my life and I'm ready for things to take a giant step backward. I need some quiet time, but I'm grateful that through most of the chaos that I've been able to sense the Ever-presence of Father. For the most part (with some exceptions) I've been pretty calm through it all. It was when I got buried in the now and I forgot to look up that I got cranky.

SDG

So, this is my first attempt at blogging. Thanks, Holly for putting the idea in my head. Up 'til now I've always thought the whole idea to be narcissistic. I don't really want to read about myself. Why should someone else? Yet, after a hard day at work and another few hours at the theatre, here I am sitting at my computer and sharing my vapid thoughts rather than sewing or collecting props or planning tomorrow's rehearsal or catching up on my worship team reading assignment.

Blogging goes against my melancholy nature. When I write, I usually don't write to share--unless I'm arguing. Get me going on homeschooling or the dangers of proficiency tests and compulsory attendance and I'll write from my soapbox for hours. No, a lot of self-editing will likely take place as I decide what is for public consumption and what is not.

So here we go. Second star to the left and straight on 'til morning.